Last night I watched the Republican debate televised from Las Vegas. I think debates are pretty interesting, so I've watched all of them. I will not betray the trust the Boy Scouts of America vested in me when I was awarded the Citizenship in the Nation merit badge. This is also why I remain committed to sharing Indian Lore with strangers. My grasp of Indian Lore peaks somewhere around: "American Indians glue beads to turkey feathers."
As I watched the debate, I decided we should just let Herman Cain be president and make a blanket decision that all American presidents must also be pizza executives. Imagine the mileage we could get out of this guy:
A friend of mine recently pointed out that Papa John never blinks in commercials. And the two qualities I value most in presidential candidates are (1) pizza experience, and (2) lidless eyes.
Plus, this Papa John's commercial could easily be aired as a campaign video at little to no cost:
Substitute "Papa's in the house" with "Papa's in the White House" and this is exactly what an American public that craves pizza-related experience wants in a candidate.
I am dying for the day when the most important qualification for president isn't whether or not you've worked in the private sector, been a governor, opposed the incumbent president, or maintained an admirable voting record, but whether or not you've ever worked in pizza.
I dream of a day when this is a common concern for candidates: "What do you say to allegations that you don't own a pizza company?"
1 week ago