Sunday, September 21, 2008
Things that suck - 9/21/08
The University of Utah Web Site – Pop-up windows have found a powerful ally in U web designers. If you've ever wondered, "Why don't I have seven browser windows open instead of just this one measly window?" your prayers have been answered. Thanks to the U Web site, you can now look at everything the U has to offer, stacked on top of each other in a totally incomrehensible fashion.
Giant Jawbreakers – Destroying your taste buds is only two weeks and a huge, gross, sticky candy ball away. Licking endlessly away at this rock-hard chunk of syrup will make you wish you were dead.
E-mail Seductresses Spam – "Hey there stud, I've noticed you around." Wow, this girl is really into me. Imagine what she would think if I enhanced my reproductive system.
Chartwells - Stomach acid has met its match in the Chartwells' chicken strip. Your digestion system is screwed.
Adult No-hands Bike Riders – Thanks again for demonstrating that not using handlebars is not only possible, but a way cool thing to do. Let us never forget that letting go of the handlebars while riding a bicycle is a supreme act of skill and bravery. I have no doubt that this impressive skill will win you the awe of a handful of 10-year old boys. Here’s to the fourth grade.
The Smith’s Values Card – If I have this plastic rectangle, I am entitled to a crappy discount. If I don’t have this plastic rectangle, I can get another one any time I want. I am certain the world will come to total ruin when everyone eventually suffocates and drowns in huge piles of discarded, replaced, and re-discarded Smith’s Values Cards. But thanks to Smith’s, there will always be a job for people who make plastic rectangles, until they all suffocate to death. The irony.
Editor's Notes: Chartwells is the foodservice provider at the University of Utah.