Sunday, October 26, 2008

Things that suck - October 26

Best Buy – Any question I ask upon entering this store is answered by a different version of, “I’m sorry, we can’t help you on account of us desperately trying to rip you off.”

Men V-Neck Enthusiasts – Thank you for exposing your chest to the world. The next frontier is V-neck pants. Keep pushing those limits.

Men Who Wear Capris – Another revolution in men’s clothing! Thank you for pushing back the boundaries on what is acceptable for men to wear. Next stop, dresses! After that, we conquer panties. Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, Lingerie! We will not stop until all men feel comfortable exposing their calves.

Voicemail Coaches – Every time I am forced to listen to a robotic woman remind me how to leave a message I lose a little faith in humanity. This can’t go on forever, can it? Can it really? I’m starting to wonder if a numerical page even exists.

Chocolate Cereal – Cocoa Puffs will turn your milk into chocolate milk! Gross, disgusting chocolate milk that reflects how totally gross Cocoa Puffs is. We gave it a good honest try, it is time we gave up on this dream.

Comcast – You should consider Comcast’s basic package, which for a very affordable price will provide you with a huge variety of KBYU channels and unbelievable amounts of Spanish-language programming. Thanks to Comcast I can finally satisfy my hunger for both BYU devotionals and telenovelas. Viva KBYU! I look forward to the years I will spend arguing with Comcast representatives over the phone.

Contributers: Elizabeth Leavitt


Bridger W. said...

The men's v-neck t-shirt is such a poorly thought out idea. I refuse to wear one until I can finance my boob job.

Melissa said...

Another great list, Craig.

Best Buy is fairly awful. However, I must admit to liking one thing about that establishment: the one line check-out with multiple cashiers. I always know I have chosen the correct line. I guess that's something.

Sarah-Ashley said...

Best Buy wouldn't let me return or exchange something today because I had no receipt. I hate Best Buy, I always have, I always will. I hate Best Buy.