Saturday, June 20, 2009

In The News

I would like to begin with an apology for being so inconsistent with my posts. I hope that everyone who has stopped checking this page and those who never did in the first place will come crawling back to me. In return I will try my best to be more consistent.

I have a few thoughts:

First, I read a news story about a lady-fox who lives in Germany. Here is an actual photo of the fox I'm talking about:

When I first laid eyes on this fox I was pretty impressed by how sly she looks. She's pulling a pretty crafty expression as if she is about to execute a very tricky plan. She is truly living up to everything cartoons have trained me to expect from foxes, concealing only her concern for the poor and complicated relationship with her natural enemies. I was even more impressed when I learned that this fox has been stealing shoes from the nearby German Village of Föhren... and nothing else, just shoes. For some reason, this one sneaky fox stole 118 shoes, which were eventually located crammed into her den. This confirms that everything I ever read in the Redwall series is true.

Second, another news story caught my eye recently. I can't remember it word-for-word, but the headline was something along the lines of:

"Companies face bankruptsy; could Sbarro and Kodak be next?"

I loved the presentation of this news, as if it was begging the reader to make this response:
"Sbarro!? Impossible! Say it isn't so! Not Sbarro! Certainly our economy couldn't turn its back on C-grade mall pizza! Could it?! --Gasp-- Sbarro is too big to fail! Those individual pizza slices are too big to fail! How would South Towne Mall ever fill the vacancy?!"

Third, as I was scanning through some more news, I came across two headlines one above the other, like so:

Mayor yells at kid, calls him 'fatso'
Cowboy saves boy, 7, with lasso

I wasn't all that interested in actually reading either story, but I appreciate how great they sound in both tempo and rhyme when read in order. I can only hope that the child mentioned in both headlines is the same person, and that these events took place immediately after one another.