Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Give Propaganda a Chance

I'm a fan of propaganda posters. I think old propaganda looks really fancy. I honestly would love to get myself some nice copies of old World War II propaganda and put them on my wall.
Not only do they look really nice, they are also really useful because they tell me exactly what to think about loads of subjects, which is convenient. Just imagine how much pain I could have avoided had only this poster been available to me:

And all this time I was thinking, "No problem here, she looks clean to me!"

Anyway, recently I spent a little time scanning the internet for some propaganda that I would like to share. Here they are:

1. Posters focusing on national security
I found loads of posters featuring attractive ladies silently hanging around a group of guys who are apparently getting together to swap military secrets. The Nazis had finally realized that the only way to get good information was to plant evening gown-wearing blondes in luxurious couches across America.
This man on the left with the fancy hat has hit a similar snag. Out on a walk he thought, "Why don't I just go ahead and loudly mention some of the military secrets I've come by."
The lesson we can learn here is that we should keep all the military secrets we know to ourselves. Even when an occassion to be a little loose-lipped with the Top Secrety information you have acquired presents itself in the form of a buxom blonde sitting demurely in a nearby couch, keep your mouth shut! She's a spy! She isn't as stupid as you think!

2. Enlistment Propaganda

This kind of propoganda pretty much confirms that the only thing that could possibly motivate anyone to join the military during wartime was women. The first one here on the left seems to make men think, "Wait a minute... I AM A MAN! I want to be in the Navy!" This is kind of how you convince a child to eat broccoli by saying, "Mmmm... I guess I get to eat all of this delicious broccoli all by myself." Or I guess, even more like saying, "I sure wish I could eat all this delicious broccoli... but I'm a girl!"
My favorites are the two on the bottom, which I imagine elicited this response: "Yes, yes I am very interested in rescuing large-breasted women, even if I have to fight a giant gorilla."

3. A Few Random Favorites

The first one here on the left is unbelievable. I love the idea of rallying boyscouts to battle sodomy. I wonder how this idea arose, "Who can we get to help fight the gays? The boyscouts!" I would love an "Engaging in Combat With Sodomy" merit batch.
The second, of course, is just a great idea. I for one would HATE riding with Hitler! I'm going to need someone to occupy that seat, or else Hitler will most certainly sit there.

And now the last two. First of all, I was very impressed that you can apparently convince Canadians to enlist without promising that they could very possibly rescue a woman with huge breasts. All Canadians need is a good motivational expression. If this was an American poster it would have read, "Let's go U.S.A.! There are women with huge breasts in danger!"
And very last, apparently the secret weapon of the Axis was that we would carelessly burn down all of our native forests.
Hitler: First, we will overrun Poland... then, all we must do is wait for the Americans to burn down all of their forests.

Note: Craig doesn't necessarily agree with any of the views or occasional racist imagery above, except the ones featuring women with huge breasts.


Melissa said...

Oh my goodness, Craig, this was one of my favorite posts ever. These posters are almost too good to be true, and your commentary was terrific.

keviN said...

hahaha......... heh heh heh...... thank you for the comical and persuasive reading material.

jaime said...

I love old posters! Women wielded so much power back then. I mean I just had to show a little cleavage and men would be divulging war secrets left and right or run off and fight for me! Ahhhh, how I miss the good old days.

Ps-I hate it when I ride with Hitler...it's so awkward!

Jarrard said...

i have that "This is the Enemy" WWII poster with the German solider wearing the reflective monacle in my home. whaddya think about that?

Scott said...

I am almost 100% positive that the boy scout in question there is actually Michael Cera!

Craig Barlow B. said...

James, I think that's pretty cool. You're a pretty cool guy, you know? Totally cool.

Melissa and Kevin, thanks, consider my self-esteem increased.

Jaime, I'm sure that still works. I'm constantly telling all of my war secrets to pretty girls. I can't help myself!

Scott, I agree.