Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A Stroll Down Memory Lane With Craig

The other day some friends of mine were going through their yearbooks to find what they had written to one another. For the most part this ended in embarrassment. I shudder to think about the ridiculous things I might have written in other peoples' yearbooks. However, this did cause me to be pretty interested in my own yearbooks, and I went through them the other day.

Today I decided to reveal some of my favorite entrees. I have left out the names and phone numbers. Also, I have excluded the usual, "Call me" except in a few cases that I feel it was an important part of the message. I also colored all the yearbook messages in green so you can tell them apart from the rest of the post. Enjoy!

1999 - Eastmont Middle School - 7th Grade

"Craig, Sup? Your cool K. I won't kill anyone ecept you! ha! ha!"

- A friendly gesture! This person didn't actually sign their name, and I can only assume they are still planning to eventually good-naturedly murder me. Everyone else is safe, however. Put your fears to rest.

"The Brownie's in the mail - still love ya"

- This young lady was getting an early start practicing for her future integral role in the Relief Society. It isn't hard for me to imagine this message typed on pink cardstock and tied with a ribbon to some sort of affordable and unsatisfying candy.

2000 - Eastmont Middle School - 8th Grade

"CRAIG! Hey you are seriously going to be a heart breaker when you get older! I mean it. Stay sweet until next year"

- Unfortunately for this 8th grade gal, by the time the next year had rolled around I had become a cold and bitter individual. Also, in a roundabout way she was able to point out that I was currently totally failing to break the hearts of 8th grade females.

"Craig, Thanks for doing an awesome job in Health. I appreciate having students like you. YOU GOT AN "H"!

- Yes, I had my health teacher sign my yearbook. This could easily have been the reason why I wasn't breaking as many hearts as I had hoped for. The other reason is that I was short, skinny, and kind of a dork. But I think it was mostly because of my health teacher.

2001 - South Jordan Middle School - 9th Grade

"Craig. you suck you Jackass"

- This wound has never fully healed. Just like Frodo after he was stabbed on Weathertop.

"Craig, your the biggest pimp with the ladies!"

- Another friendly gesture, but unfortunately based upon no evidence. Subsequently, it wasn't true. More correctly he could have said, "Craig, you're the biggest pimp at collecting Spawn toys and merchandise."

"Graig, you are so nice,"

- I had many close friends during my year at South Jordan Middle School.

2002 - Bingham High School - Sophomore

"Craig, Keep going the women and you will hopefully get one sooner or later"

- Yet again, a person shows confidence that I can get a girlfriend. This sort of support gave me the fuel I needed to launch into my successful dating career you have all heard about, no doubt.

"Craig - Hey stud! Next year is going to be way fun!"

- This seems like a perfectly normal thing to say in a yearbook, right? Now consider the fact that this girl once stole a pen from me one year previous, and refused to give it back! I can only assume she still has it. Take this as a lesson that I will remember every time you have wronged me and take it bitterly to my grave.

2003 - Bingham High School - Junior

"Craig: Why are you so hot! I love you to death! you are so cute! Your smile and laugh makes me melt like a popsicle on the 4th of July! Call me!"

- It is my largest regret that I never took advantage of this glowing review. The next time someone tells me I make them melt like a popsicle on the 4th of July, I will be well-prepared by my past failures. Live and learn.

"Craig, From what I've heard you are a slutty, slutty person. And I will have nothing to do with that - Trent"

- I am identifying Trent, because I don't think he'll mind. I think this message was a good idea. That's all I have to say about that.

2004 - Bingham High School - Senior

"Hope is necessary in every condition! The last thing a fish will notice is water!"

- I assume this girl had discovered my secret plan to dive in front of traffic right after signing yearbooks. I hope she got a comfortable job writing greeting cards.
"Craig, Man I wish we would of had classes together this year. Call me"

- Very nice. Especially considering the fact that this person had told me my bleached hair looked like a cat had "pissed" on my head in my 9th grade yearbook. He was right all along.

Final Note: This picture is a good way to remember my high school career.


derek w. said...

That picture never gets old to me.

jaime said...

Hahahahahahaha!!!! I love that picture! I love the whole post! In fact I just love you Craig! Stay sweet and call me!!

Bridger W. said...

I feel totally ashamed knowing there's a possibility that you saw what I wrote in your yearbook.

Rebekah said...

Yeah, well it was mostly because of the Health Teacher, but also mostly because of you being short, skinny and kind of a dork.


20 Something said...

You also got to Experience the Great Eastmont Middle School? What a Small Small World! So you would have known Ms. Sproul (assistant principal?) Please tell me you Had Mr.Lombardi for Health? What a Small World.


Craig Barlow B. said...

Why Lindy, I did go to Eastmont Middle School before heading to South Jordan. My older brother had Lombardi, but I had a Mrs. (Miss?) Benton I'm afraid. The most I remember about Mrs. Benton was that she insisted that boys had to wash their jeans, and she once told me LSD makes you see sounds and hear colors, which gave me a insatiable, and yet unrealized, drive to give LSD a fair try. As far as administration I can't remember anyone really. I remember that my principal was a woman that I thought looked kind of like a rat. Do you remember a sort of rat woman? That's my only memory.

20 Something said...

Mrs. White was the Rat Woman, Mrs (Miss.?) Benton was awesome, I was so mad when I didn't get her for health, Ha Ha, That's Classic. Oh that school, always teaching the best.