Saturday, November 14, 2009

Another Major Achievement Behind Me

I am usually pretty good at ignoring Facebook ads and invitations asking me to join my friends' struggles against other Mafia bosses, build a virtual roller coaster, or to start my own farm. However, I totally support things like FarmVille because of their educational value. FarmVille offers 20 and 30 year olds an opportunity to peek into the every day life of an American farmer, which usually goes something like this:

Craig found a lonely Black Sheep on their farm. Oh no!
Craig was farming when a lonely Black Sheep wandered onto their farm in FarmVille. She feels very sad and needs a new home.

Comment . Like . Adopt the Black Sheep!

In fact, farmers spend almost all their time adopting neglected and sad animals. If you have ever been near a farm, it might appear like some harvesting or planting might be going on, but you can rest assured that the resident farmer is wandering around his land locating unhappy animals in need of adoption. "Well, I would do all the farm work, but then who would tend for all these horribly sad animals?!"

And of course, my favorite:

Craig found a lonely orphan on their farm. Oh no!
Craig was farming when a lonely orphan, who most certainly isn't a 33 year old midget prostitute, wandered onto their farm in FarmVille. She feels very sad, can play the piano, needs a new home, and wants to seduce your husband.

Comment . Like . Adopt Esther

Although I'm usually careful to not participate in this stuff, I have recently played a little bit of

I know this is very embarrassing. In fact, when I sent out invitations for people to join my army, I handpicked the friends I thought were less likely to mock me openly. This didn't really work, because Bekah exposed me to public shame last night.

Not to be discouraged, I quickly learned that the world of Castle Age is almost completely populated by extremely well-endowed elf women:

These women don't have time for t-shirts, they need clothing tailored specifically with the challenges faced by elf women in a fantastical world in mind. Clothes like V-neck leather jumpsuits, off-the-shoulder halter tops, and sheer lingerie. You couldn't possibly expect these gals to kill anyone while wearing a pair of jeans.

Anyway, with the help of these magical ladies, I recently killed Gildamesh the Orc King. Soooo...pretty cool... prrrreetty cool. I just thought you should know.

Final Note: Craig understands if you are no longer interested in knowing him.


20 Something said...

I have also avoided all invites to the games, groups, mafias of facebook. Including farmville, good thing people like you are out there that can save the little orphan's that like to steal spouses, and can play the piano. That has to be worth saving!

Elizabeth said...

Great post Craig. I'm loving imagining those Elf women in Lee, pleated jeans.

Bridger W. said...

Once their popularity grows large enough to warrant fan fiction and its countless poorly thought-out sex romps, those lady elves will be ready.

Rebekah said...

I think I forgot that you requested that I not openly mock you. Oops.