Friday, January 1, 2010

Kicking Off the New Year by Lurking Around My Friend's Family Room

Summer Roberts from The OC once said that "The way you spend New Year’s eve is the way you’re gonna spend the rest of the year." That's why I'm going to spend the rest of the year bowling at a pretty mediocre level with a group consisting of a 5 to 1 male to female ratio, followed by an early-morning game of group-oriented Oregon Trail, and then sitting awake in the family room of my friend Scott's house by myself until 7:00 a.m.

My two friends have fallen asleep, but I refuse to go to bed because I have some other friends who had plans to visit the Original Pancake House at 7:30 a.m. I've decided to push straight through. So instead of falling asleep I've decided to write this blog

In the past hour since Scott fell asleep, here are some of the conversations we've had:

Conversation 1 -
Scott: You have to have the mother bird.
Craig: Why do you have to have the mother bird?
Scott: Because of the chickens.
Craig: What do the chickens need?
Scott: Well, they were doing something?
Craig: What were they doing?
Scott: They were in the bird cage.

Conversation 2 -
Scott: They can poke holes in the house.
Craig: Who can poke holes in the house?
Scott: Me
Craig: Why would you poke holes in the house?
Scott: I'm going to push down half of the house.
Craig: Whose house?
Scott: My neighbor's. The Blaire's.
Craig: Are they going to upset that you pushed down their house?
Scott: I don't think they'll mind. The Lexus the Lexus commercials...Lexuses are the only cars that can drive in the snow...wait, were we talking about cars?

Anyway, I have a friend named Sarah-Ashley who used to do a year wrap-up on her blog where she went through some of the year's best and worst aspects. I hope she'll consider doing it this year, but as long as I'm suspiciously sitting alone and awake in my friend's family room at 6:38 in the morning, I'm going to go ahead and do it myself. I hope you enjoy. Also, I hope I'm as conscious as I think I am, or else this is going to be a bit choppy.

Best Restaurant: I'm really not horribly picky. I've been lucky enough to have a good number of friends with good taste. When I'm with them I can fool the rest of the world into believing that I am somewhat cultured and a little sophisticated. I've been to my fair share of fancy restaurant this year. I even bought a $10 potato at Flemings. But to be honest, the restaurant I enjoyed the very most this year was plain old Einstein Bagles. I love Einstein Bagles. I love getting a toasted Asiago Cheese bagle with fried green tomato or jalepeno cream cheese. I love how I can get two tasty bagles for less than I can buy a baked potato at Flemings. Thanks Einstein Brothers.

Worst Restaurant: I'm not exactly sure what this place is called, but my heart is telling me it is Ganesh Indian. Consequently this was Sarah's least favorite restaurant last year. Through some decision-making process I still don't completely understand, we decided to order the goat meat. I don't know how we reached this misguided conclusion. Granted, I'm sure there are people out there who love eating goat. But I don't think the average person often thinks, "I sure can't wait to wrap my lips around that delicious goat." That person would be wrong about the goat at Ganesh Indian, at least, because I'm pretty sure each bit of goat meat was actually a small rat carcass covered in sauce. That texture really did me in.

Best Concert: Earlier this year I went to see Ben Kweller. Not only was Ben Kweller fantastic, I got a great picture with Ben Kweller where he puts his hand on my shoulder. There were ten other shoulders he could have put his hand on, and he picked one of my shoulders. I think that speaks very highly of my character. Then I got a cd signed by Ben Kweller, it was great. AND IT'S NOT OVER YET! Before Ben Kweller, a band from Provo played called Neon Trees. Not only were they a really great time, their lead singer was one of the best showmen I have seen, and their female drummer was absolutely fantastic. Plus we got to chat with this drummer afterwards, and I think she stole a bit of my heart away. And that's the truth. I encourage you to check out this band.

Worst Concert: I didn't go to many concerts this year, so I'm not going to choose a bad one. Although, listening to some of the opening bands before Neon Trees wasn't so great.

Best Movie: This is a really difficult decision. I went and saw a bunch of movies this year, and so instead of picking one favorite, I'm going to make a list in no specific order and extol their virtues
- Star Trek - Very exciting, at no point did it lose my attention. Good story, good casting, good movie.
- Avatar - I went into this movie without any huge expectations, and I thought it was fantastic. I always knew Dances With Wolves would be better if there were less American Indians and more aerial dogfights in space.
- Australia - Some people hated this movie because it was two movies packed into one very long movie. But I liked both movies, so I didn't mind that it kept going. Some people think this movie is kind of girly. Some people think I'm kind of girly for liking this movie. But I like this movie a lot, and I'm a very masculine guy. And I can prove it with that picture of me below with all the guns. Obviously those people are total idiots.
- District 9 - I saw this three times, and twice in one weekend. Very original, very clever, and even funny here and there. Excellent job.
- Drag me to Hell - I made more than one, but especially one really weird noise when I watched this movie. It made me jump a million times, with several strange sounds escaping my mouth involuntarily. Plus, it was really funny. A great time.

Worst Movie: Paul Blart: Mall Cop is very possibly the worst movie I have ever seen in my life, and definitely the worst movie I saw this year. "Hey, I've got a movie idea: overweight, somewhat unlikable mall cop rescues mall from BMX-biking, skateboard-riding, extreme sport enthusiast superthieves, who despite their super-thievery, have decided to rob a suburban mall."

Favorite Bands: I went through a lot of music this year, but the bands that continued to catch my interest were: The Generationals, Neon Trees, Miniature Tigers, and Ben Kweller. However, I spent some months finding 40's and 50's music for my grandma's birthday, and I found some excellent stuff.

Here are some music videos and what not from each one of those bands. Check it out. Or just scroll past them -

Best TV Show: I had three favorites -
- Heroes: I love Heroes. The only problem with my extreme love for Heroes is that there is nothing this show can do to drive itself into the ground that will make me stop watching it. With that said, this season has been pretty good, if a little slow now and again.
- Glee: I think Glee is really funny. Some people think Glee is kind of girly. Some people think I'm kind of girly for liking Glee. But again, if I was, then how can you account for me standing in the desert holding all of those guns?
- Survivor: I loved watching Survivor this season. Russell deserved to win, and I was disappointed that he didn't. However, it did feed my desire to eventually be on this show. Just the thought makes me shake with nervous excitement, seriously. When I think about applying for this show, I get butterflies.

Worst TV Show: I understand that Scrubs has somehow managed to pull a pretty decent crowd. Some of these people are people I think are pretty nice, intelligent people. But that doesn't stop Scrubs from being the absolutely least-funny television show I've ever seen. Watching weird people run around and do weird things with no explanation on why in the world everyone who works in this hospital is so incredibly weird drives me out of my mind.

Anyway, it's getting near the time when I'm going to be heading out on my night-long determination to eat a pancake. My ride should be arriving any minute. Not a very long list, I know. Maybe I'll extend it another time. Until then, I hope you had a fantastic New Year's Eve, and best of luck in 2010.

Final Note: I've located a few grammatical and spelling errors in this blog, but I'm not fixing them because I think they reflect how I felt at 6:00 a.m.


Bridger W. said...

Great list, Craig. Those conversations with Scott are something you'll cherish for the rest of your life.

Chelsea Michelle said...

Good list Craig. You are so funny....I still read "Things That Suck" every once in a while just to have a good deep belly laugh. Thank you Craig for being clever, witty, and excellent with words.

Jordan said...

I also love Einstein Bagels. It is so good.

Elizabeth said...

Craig - I really burst out laughing when I read your reaction to Avatar. And your proof of masculinity is top notch. The moment you start wearing Axe Body Spray is the moment you'll find an absolute bevy of woman clinging to your chisled abs.

Great list Craig. Great work.

jaime said...

Craig, I don't even know where to begin. I disagree with so much on your list! It's like you didn't even do the same things I did this year! Next time let's discuss what should or should not be on your hate/love list.

Ps- musicals and chick flicks Craig may cancel out manly gun toting Craig...just sayin.

Craig Barlow B. said...

Really Jaime? I can't think of how you could really take a serious issue with anything on this list. Did you love the goatrat meat at Ganesh Indian? Did Paul Blart: Mall Cop really do it for you?

P.S. Chick flicks and and musicals only enhance manly gun-toting Craig. You've got a lot of growing up to do Jaime.

jaime said...

Alright Craig...I confess. I didn't see half of your best of movies and I didn't see your worst pick. I didn't go to the horrid restaurant. I didn't go to any of the same concerts as you this year. I don't watch two of your favorite TV shows and I like Scrubs...I'm just not sure how we're friends right now. It's like the universe is out to break us up! Blasted universe! Don't worry, we'll beat the odds buddy!

Scott said...

Craig, not bad. So get this, if you have not already heard this, Elaine Doty, the drummer from Neon Trees was in our ward for a time being. I totally could have hooked you up...ok, probably not but its the thought that counts right?

melissa-brad said...

craig, i was seriously thrilled when i saw that you not only read my blog, but you commented on it! what a priviledge. and i'm glad that we finally know who put that condom there for us. what a treat.

about your conversation with scott, please tell me right now he was talking in his sleep!

and about your list, i can't wait to go back and listen to all that awesome music! i love hearing new stuff. and i hope your year is just as fantastic as your new years!

The Dutsons said...

Excellent list Craigery! Star Trek was an excellent movie and District 9 was even better. I'm glad you confronted the Scrubs nonsense, because I also feel like th odd one out in a world of people that think it's worthwhile. Glee is a good show, so keep watching. Keep having funny late night conversations and making witty comments about it because it makes me laugh.