Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Reach for Your Dreams!

Two years ago I wrote a column for the newspaper at Dixie State College about motivational calendars. I basically complained that they weren't really being completely honest with us. And although they have been persuading us for years to stand on the tops of mountains, make friends, work as a team, lift heavy weights, and climb flights of stairs we once thought were beyond our capacity, they tricked us to do all those things the whole time. So I've designed a few motivational posters based on the things I wrote two years ago:

1. This is one of the most popular sayings. Shooting for the moon is a good euphamism for trying your hardest in just about any category, because it forgets to mention how horrible some of it will be and only includes the pleasant parts. "Oooooh...moon! STARS! I LOVE stars!!" For example, I used to hear this a lot when I ran cross-country. I wish they had included: "Shoot for the moon...your kidney is going to explode when you do this, and your upper thigh will be constantly exposed."


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2. One of the most popular ways to motivate someone to do anything is by comparing whatever they are doing to climbing a mountain. This is usually coupled with a picture of a tiny man standing at the foot of a humongous mountain, encouraging him to climb it one step at a time. I'm positive this sort of method would work way better if they said instead, "Really tall mountains can be climbed five or six steps at a time, which severely shortens the journey. You'll climb a huge mountain in no time!"
Unfortunately this is almost never the case. So I've designed this...

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3. Another fairly popular saying is, "What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." This is often coupled with pictures of Egyptian pyramids. Unfortunately they forgot one very important part of the recipe to building a pyramid:

Building a pyramid: Ingredients
- 1: Imagination
- 1: Faith
- 1: A bunch of people who will work for free for several decades

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Final Notes:
- Before I am accused of being cynical, I want to clarify that I'm only joking. I hope you all reach for your dreams!
- Speaking of motivation, I just finished the personal statement for my law school applications, maybe I'll post it here...or not. I'm not really sure if that's an okay thing to do.
- I work for The Daily Utah Chronicle. We just started an unofficial blog where we will talk about all the things we do. For example, we might write about our weight-gaining competition, and my glorious victory in a contest of strength against a girl in our office. I will write for it occasionally, and if you'd like to look at it, you can check it out here.

3 comments:

Sara Soda said...

Oh, Craig. I hope someday your motivational posters get put into production.

Also, my husband is in law school. Prepare yourself for a lot of studying. A LOT. Richard Nixon said all you need to get through law school is an iron uh... "butt" because you'll spend all your time on it while studying.

Ha.

jaime said...

Haha! I love Demotivators! Especially the one about shooting for the moon. It reminded me of one I heard last year:

Wishes. When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true...unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. Then your pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

Here's another fav:
Give Up. At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

Bridger W. said...

What you seem to be forgetting here is that those pyramids were built by aliens.