Monday, April 5, 2010

Two Songs, Queen Kong, and Some Tasteful Nudity

I have two more songs here. I'm going to force you to listen to them. Go ahead.

Anyway, Train Robber is a recent creation. It is the most complicated one I've done yet, so that is kind of exciting. I invented Decay just over a year ago, and I re-recorded it yesterday with better sound quality. It's deceivingly hard to sing, and I understand it is a little rough. Hopefully everything else translated through. If you want to look at all the songs I have put on the internet, you can look at them here.

1. Train Robber

2. Decay

For those of you who want a little bit more out of your blog experience, here is more. Lately I saw one of PETA's "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" ads. Basically these ads feature well-known gals standing around naked with that slogan next to their picture. I guess the ultimate goal of this campaign is so that women who generally wear mink coats can look at any one of these naked ladies and think:

"Wow, she seems to be able to cover herself up with just her hands just as well as I do with this fine, mink coat. Looks like I won't be needing this anymore!"

I would love to help the cause, but I don't share the exact conviction. I would rather kill an animal with my bare hands so I could quickly skin and wear its furry pelt than wander around naked in public. Still, I have a few suggestions for ways I could help give the movement a bit of a push and still remain true to the way I feel about animals and nudity.

The first series of photos would just be me lounging around nude, tastefully covering myself with my hands to the following honest subtitles:

- I'd rather go naked than cover my nude body with a bleeding goat corpse

- I'd rather be naked in a magazine in exchange for loads of money than have my house bombed to bits by PETA.

The next photo would be a tasteful nude photo of me laying on my side wearing a cape and a pointy hat, and holding a wand demurely.The subtitles could read:

- I'd rather be a wizard than wear a mink coat

- I'd be okay with being naked if I had magical powers as well.

The last photo would be a picture of me, tastefully nude, covered only by some sort of wombat or muskrat wrapped around my groin-area in a violent fright. The subtitles could read:

- I'd rather go naked than for a live animal to be wrapped around my groin.

- If there was nothing available for me to wear except this dangerous muskrat, I would just go naked.

Hopefully PETA picks me up so they can cash in on the demographic of people who care about what I say. Believe me PETA, there are at least two or three people who listen to me. I have these people in the palm of my hand, and if you want them, you are going to need me totally naked in a magazine.

Last, here is some clips from the only movie I want to see. This looks just about like everything I've ever wanted to watch:

Queen Kong (1976)


Bridger W. said...

A spectacular post from start to finish.

Melissa said...

Craig, I'll be listening to these songs as soon as I am not in a room filled with teenages.

Your PETA campaign is brilliant. Simply brilliant.

jaime said...

First of all I need to address this amazing movie you found! What the awesome!! It looks like it could even be better than House...which, I know, Ridiculous right!?

Second, I have a feeling PETA will be calling you very soon. Maybe you should create some posters on your own to show them??
I for one am pro fur. My ad would have to say "I'd rather be naked laying on baby seal skin than not".

Lastly, you have a musical gift my friend. It's a wonder we haven't gotten you to sing a solo in church yet. I know the musical director though, so let me know get this taken care of for you. You're Welcome!

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