Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Recently for Me

Let me tell you a little about my life. Today I realized that I've posted a few reprints of stuff I've already written or done in other formats. And although they were equally interesting or disinteresting as the original material, there is something about experiencing something second hand that makes it not seem quite as interesting or disinteresting as it was during the first take. So now I'm going to write down a few original, non-premeditated things that I guarantee will be exactly as interesting or disinteresting as they actually are. You might even learn something you didn't know.

I spent a good portion of my day watching Deadliest Warrior on the Spike Network. This is a major victory for the Spike Network, because although I fall within their target market of single college-aged to middle-aged men, I sort of excuse myself from their scope of influence by being a 5'9", 131 pound guy who ran cross-country in high school, excels at the Limbo, loves The OC and romantic comedies, usually plays basketball with his shirt on, and doesn't generally tune into 2 hour blocks advertising the sexiest celebrity bodies or long videos of things exploding.

But I couldn't hold out forever. As today demonstrated, my inherent, primal masculinity does occasionally become the driving force of my consciousness long enough to convince myself that I actually do want to see what would happen if a Knight got in a fight with a Pirate. I love watching this show. Basically they analyze the pros and cons of each warrior, put it in a computer, run a simulation 1,000 times, and then the audience is rewarded as actors reenact the battle, including who wins. The Pirate won. At that exact moment a group of executives at Spike Network headquarters shared subsequent chest and fist bumps: "We finally did something that reached that self-righteous Craig after all." - If you want to see the video, youtube won't let me embed it on the blog, so here it is accompanied by a song by the Goo Goo Dolls. Perfect. Looks like I truly am a real man.

Just this weekend I got sick and lost 4 pounds in just 2 days. that's a good amount for someone who recently weighted 135 pounds. I'm not exactly sure what I did to deserve this disease, but I do have my suspicions:

I had just gotten back from a Chinese restaurant Saturday night and decided to blow through a few movies. This is one of my favorite things to do. I really like sitting down and watching 2 or 3 movies starting at 12:00 a.m. or so all by myself. This time I watched King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters and New York Doll. Both are documentaries...one about the world record holders for the highest score in the original arcade Donkey Kong, and the other about the bass player for the New York Dolls who converted to Mormonism. Both were great, and at around 2:30 I decided to spice up my experience by scooping myself a really huge bowl of vanilla icecream. This was a mistake, because I think the icecream could have been poisoned. Either that, or the combination of the Chinese food, the icecream, and the sleep deprivation did a number on me. Fast approaching the age of 24, I managed to make myself sick from staying up too late and eating icecream. The next two days were very, very uncomfortable. On the bright side, shedding those four pesky pounds got me even closer to being able to slip right back into my Prom dress.

I applied to some law schools recently. I have been wait-listed at 2 of them, denied by 1 of them, and am still just waiting around to hear from the rest of them. The good thing is that if I get rejected from all of them I can finally become the sensational secretary I was born to be. I can type consistently between 95 and 115 wpm, I am very cordial on the phone, and my hair looks really neat in a bob. Until then, waiting on these schools has placed me in a transitional state of mind that I don't like very much.

I'm going to graduate in two weeks.

Today I got back a paper from a class I'm taking. I got a B+ on the paper. This is the second lowest grade I've gotten on a paper since I entered college. I can't help but feel a little bit anxious about it. On the other hand, I can't help but realize what an absolutely ridiculous person I am when one B+ makes me feel nervous. I'm a pretty insane student.

I'm broke, I'm losing my school-provided job when I graduate, and I just sent the federal government a check for $206. Luckily, the state government softened the blow by depositing $1 directly into my checking account. That was a pleasant surprise. One second I was like, "I'm sorry, but that Suave shampoo bottle is beyond my means." And the next I was like, "Wait a minute...wait...no...this can't be! Ring me up one of these Suave shampoo bottles please."

And recently that's kind of how it has gone.

Here are the trailers for those two shows I saw. You can look at them if you like.

King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

New York Doll


joN. said...

huh. you picked my second favorite movie from 2005 and also my second favorite movie from 2007. i guess next time you get sick it will be (500) days of summer, huh?

Jacob said...

My roommates and I watched all 4 seasons of the OC in 2 weeks. I don't know if we already made this connection but it just further proves that our familial relationship has far reaching effects.

Melissa said...

Thanks for the original material, Craig.

There was a time when a B+ on a paper was a serious blow to my sense of well-being. Fortunately, grad school cured me of any desire to do well in school. Maybe this will work for you too, though I think law school might be a little bit of a different story.

jaime said...

I'm so glad Deadliest Warrior is around. They are answering the age old question of whose more of a bad ass?? I for one sleep easier knowing that William Wallace can beat Shaka Zulu.
We should have a TV marathon night and watch them all...

Andrea Jolene said...

My money was always on the pirate... but I watched the video anyway muttering "Yep... as expected... stupid Knight." Lighter news - you'll get into a law school. Shore you will! I mean, why wouldn't you? Carry on.

Scott said...

I watched this seasons premiere last night of deadliest warrior...they pitted all of the winners from last season against each other to find out the ultimate deadliest warrior. They did two sets, one group before black powder was invented, and one group fro after black powder. In a great matchup between the deadly samuri and the even deadlier Spartan. The Spartan won by stabbing the Samuri in the throat, finally taking that stupid smug look off his face!

Craig Barlow B. said...

I totally saw that Scott. Well done. I watched both sections. I watched several hours of this show.

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ROXY MARJ said...

craig! you are waaaaay too crazy and insane and funny! your $1 suave story had me peeing my pants. truly, I just peed my pants! <- said in british accent....
anyways, good luck with graduation. And the b+ <- I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. I was a MEGA ULTRA FREAK in college. I just felt that I had to do insanely well to make up for my dropping out of high school... ;p