Monday, May 31, 2010

Three Things to Think About

I have a few things on my mind. I thought about doing them all in separate blog posts, but I've decided to combine them all in this one blog post. I think that's very efficient of me. Here are a few unrelated thoughts:

I made another song recently. I hope you listen to it and then give me a compliment. Either that, or you can listen to it and give me a harsh personal criticism on the way I dress or the way my face looks. Here it is:

This Hat by Craig Barlow Blake

The other day, I was trying to research the best way to win at Checkers. I typed "How to" into Google in preparation to then type "win at Checkers." But before I got to the Checkers part, Google suggested a few popular searches that start with "How to" in a drop-down menu. These are the searches that are typed often enough that Google assumes they're probably what you are looking for. I wish they took this opportunity to berate their patrons by putting this disclaimer next to their suggestions: "You're probably looking for this aren't you? You unoriginal simpleton. You're a sheep! You're all sheep!" Anyway, I thought it was pretty interesting what dropped down. Here is the list in order:

How to:
- kiss
- tie a tie
- get pregnant
- solve a Rubix Cube
- lose weight fast
- Train Your Dragon
- get a girl to like you
- write a resume
- download Youtube videos
- get a passport

I think this demonstrates the underlying social anxieties people are dealing with nowadays. I like to imagine there is someone out there furiously typing every one of these into Google. If we could just find that person, we could identify someone who truly represents humanity: An overweight lesbian, who desperately wants to have a baby, on her way to a job interview in another country. Unfortunately she can't remember how to tie a tie, because she is apparently wearing a suit. Also, she loves How to Train Your Dragon, doesn't really understand the complexities of YouTube, and is occasionally unsuccesful in getting girls to like her, possibly because they know she cannot solve a Rubix Cube. That is pretty much what humanity boils down to. It terrifies me how much I have in common with this lesbian. Give me a few years to forget how to tie a tie, gain some weight, and become a woman and I will be this lesbian. However, I guess it does make sense that I'm kind of like a lesbian somewhere. She is the ultimate representative of humanity, after all.

In the end, I didn't learn how to do any of those things. So wherever this lady is, she is now way better off than me. On the other hand, I could probably beat her in a game of Checkers now, so I guess it all evens out in the end.

Last, I was shown an excellent music video by Roxy the other day. I'm a sucker for a good music video, and this is one of the better ones I've seen in a long time. Afterward, Bridger showed me a pretty exciting music video. I'll embed Roxy's here, but Bridger's won't let me embed it, so watch it here.

Hot Chip - I Feel Better


Elizabeth said...

I like everything about this blog post.

I'd like to be specific about that song of yours. Craig, that song is another hit to add to your list of hits. It's an impressive accomplishment.

I also adore the idea of a few given circumstances changing and that turning you right into that overweight lesbian.

Also, I've recently introduced myself to your twitter posts and I have chuckled myself to tears.

joN. said...

i have not listened to your song yet, but i'm sure it's superb. i'm waiting for the album to come out. then i can comment on the entire album at once. i never really got into the singles scene.

in response to your response to my response in the last post, the follow up a-ha song is called "the sun always shines on tv." a poor version of the video is here

unfortunately the video is gone from the mtv and vh1 archive at the moment. i'm not sure why. the "sequel" part of "take on me" occurs in the first 30 seconds and then the video takes on (pardon that) a whole new theme. that's how we rolled back then. videos were way more interesting. trust me. i've lived it both ways.

jaime said...

1st- Craiggers I've already told you that you have mad musical skilz. You're totally gonna hit the big time!

2nd- I don't understand that music video at all and I'm a little bit weirded out right now!

3rd- Do you speak Japanese or Chinese??

Craig Barlow B. said...

Thanks Elizabeth and Jaime. I liked the song too, so I hope it is decent.

Elizabeth, I am going to try my best to become that lesbian as soon as possible. I'm glad you read my Twitter. It makes me feel like it is less worthless than I have thought it was.

Jon, thanks for that link. How dare Ah Ha do this to me. I was so happy after watching Take on Me. And now I'll never be happy again.

Jaime, I don't speak Japanese or Chinese, but I always get these random asian spammers. I'm trying to stop it.