Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Let's Get Reacquainted

It's been a while since I've filled out one of these questionnaires, and I think some of you might have forgotten what I'm all about. If you read this, you are going to know exactly what I'm all about. Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn more about me.

1. What color is your underwear right now? Today I'm wearing just a plain old pair of black lace French-cut panties.

2. What are you listening to right now? At this very moment I'm listening to Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison. I was looking for music that sounds like Eddie Cochran and Van Morrison was suggested to me by the Internet. Van Morrison is nothing like Eddie Cochran, but I don't like arguing with the Internet. Now I'm listening to Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. The Internet is really taking advantage of my conflict avoidance.

3. What are the last 2 digits in your phone number? 44...good luck figuring out the rest, you bunch of suckers.

4. What was the last thing you ate? For lunch I had a two day old Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwich and two packages of fruit snacks. A healthy meal for a healthy boy.

5. If you were a crayon what color would you be? I'd probably be a brown crayon. You should now have no trouble decoding the intricacies of my personality.

6. How is the weather right now? It looks like it is windy outside, but sunny. That's unfortunate, because I was hoping this building would be sucked into a black hole before I arrived.

7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I talked to a nice gal who was recently injured hiking. It sounds like she will be okay in the long run.

8. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their testimonies.

9. Favorite type of Food? I'm a major fan of carnita tacos.

10. Do you drink? I don't drink even a little.

11. Do you smoke? I don't smoke at all.

12. Ever get so drunk you dont remember? This question would have been avoided if this had been a "Choose Your Own Adventure" novel, thanks to my answer on #10. I would have directed away from this drinking adventure, and would have already died in a pit or been eaten by a wild animal by now.

13. What color are your eyes? A deep, beautiful blue you can get lost in all day long.

15. Do you wear contacts? I don't wear contacts for a few reasons. One is because I still have some stitches/sutures in my right eye. But another is that I had a traumatic contact experience when I was 16. I would rather someone just punch me in the eye sockets every morning.

16. Single? At the moment...but who knows how long that could possibly last?

17. Favorite Month? July is when my birthday is, and it is coming right up. We all have a lot to look forward to in July. I hope you will all enjoy celebrating my birth as much as I will.

18. Ever cried for no reason? No. Whenever I cry it is for a totally acceptable reason, like watching The Biggest Loser or seeing Kerri Strug do the pommel horse.

19. Last Movie you watched? I went and saw The A-Team. It was way more tolerable than I thought it would be. I actually enjoyed it quite a bit.


21. Are you too shy to ask someone out? No. I'm too shy to do nearly everything else, but I I will ask people on dates until we are both blue in the face.

22. Hugs or Kisses? I will kiss you on the face and hug you at the same time. That is how good I am at the art of Love.

23. Chocolate or Vanilla? I prefer Vanilla ice cream with toppings. But for everything else, I can't imagine choosing vanilla. Surrender Vanilla! We don't need your tasteless wafers any more.

24. Would you rather play basketball or hockey? I'd rather play basketball so I can slam dunk the basketball. I like to score the basket in the hoop.

25. Has anyone ever broken your heart? Anna Stern broke my heart into a million tiny pieces when she moved back to Pittsburgh in 2003. Now, I fear, Lana Lang is about to rip it to shreds once again in 2010. I can't stop it. There is an endless supply of fictional women just waiting to stab me in the heart.

26. Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true? Of course they will. It's only a matter of time until I become a famous cartoonist. My English degree has pretty much guaranteed that much.

27. What books are you reading? Graduating in English has made me feel like I need to take a break from reading for a bit. I'm going to fill this void in my life with push-ups. Thousands of them.

28. Piercings? I don't have any piercings at all.

29. Fav. Movie? I have such a hard time choosing a favorite movie. But at the moment, I really love Best Worst Movie, the Troll II documentary. Other than that, I really enjoyed The Brothers Bloom and Amelie sort of recently.

30. Fav. baseball team? Karl Malone Team

31. Any pets? I don't have any pets. I'm going to buy a Giga Pet to play with at work. I just want to NURTURE something! You know?

32. AIM? I shoot from the hip. Next time you see me I'll be sauntering around shooting things with the butt of the gun lodged into my hip.

33. Butter, Plain or salted popcorn? I just want my popcorn covered in sodium.

34. Dogs or cats? A dog would win in a fight. But it takes two dogs and a house cat working together to hatch a crafty plan to send a mountain lion plummeting off a mountain to its death. I've seen it all before.

35. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? A net.

36. Have you ever fired a gun? From my hip. Also, I once goofed up the hearing in my right ear with a gun. Chances are I can't hear what you are whispering to me at church in my right ear. Many of you have fallen victim to my deft nodding techniques.

37. Date someone older or younger? I don't care, as long as they want to French kiss me on the mouth. But really, I truly don't care.

38. Right handed or left handed? I am right handed. I will spend the next week and a half trying to punch everyone who reads this blog in the forehead. I hope you noted this information.

39. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. One for my head. The other one is a free agent.

40. What do you think Captain Hook's name was before he had a hook for a hand? Captain Hand. Everyone knows they name pirate captains after whatever is hanging off of their arms.

Editor's Note: If you'd like to see more dazzling pictures like the ones taken above, look here. They were taken by my friend Matt Mcfarland. He is a professional photographer. If you need a photographer, you should call him.


Elizabeth said...

I'm so glad you posted this. For weeks I've been looking for a new internet survey. I hope you won't mind if I fill out this very survey.

Great answers Craig. #1 took my breath away. The other answers are also top notch.

MandiScandal said...

#23. Hey. Some of us like vanilla.

#37 Are there other places to french kiss other than your mouth? I dunno...maybe I shouldn't have asked.

I hope you don't mind that I don't actually know you very well in person but I blog stalk you. Very entertaining. Thanks for posting! :D

jaime said...

Craiggers I cry during the Biggest Loser as well...I'm pretty sure it's mandatory.

Also, if you punch me in the forehead I will poke out your pretty blues so no girl can get lost in their depths ever again!!

Bridger W. said...

Completely fantastic. You're an expert at finding decent surveys. Also, Karl Malone Team is hysterical.