Sunday, June 13, 2010

Vision is Overrated

I've fallen a little behind in my blogging schedule lately. I write so much at work nowadays, and it finally caught up to me in the last two weeks. On the bright side, in the past I've always lacked the discipline and courage to write about my true passions: luggage, furniture, and kitchen appliances. Now that I work at Overstock.com, I can finally fulfill my dream of writing an endless number of buying guides on each of these three cherished topics.

However, I did write something about area carpets recently, under the chic pen name of Meredith Boone, that was kind of fun. If you want to look at it, here it is. I'm going to try to put an end to my blogging neglect. I apologize to all three of you. Meanwhile, I did write a guest blog on Roxy's blog a week or two ago. You can read it if you want, in addition to all the other swell stuff you can look at there.

Recently I had my glasses taken from me. My doctor gave me a bad prescription, and I have been forced to surrender the frames until Tuesday so someone can fit in the correct lens. This has granted me two new/old experiences:

1. I only got my glasses a year ago--and I had equally crappy vision before then--so I have a lot of experience driving without being able to see very well. What I learned is that anyone who has a little common sense and can see a white line painted on asphalt should be able to drive. My strategy of driving blind at night is, "I need to stay between those white lines, and not get too close to that big object in front of me." I think this concept of driving should be enforced more at the DMV. Instead of an eye test, they should force everyone to run headlong down an asphalt track and stay in between two painted white lines. If you cross the lines, or if you run into the wall at the end of the asphalt, you fail the test.

2. Apparently my glasses have become an important part of my persona. People find it very difficult to adjust to, or even imagine, the way I look without glasses. This is a little odd because most of the people I know met me when I didn't wear glasses. Upon interogation, some of these people can't even remember this time period. I'm going to take advantage of this by only wearing clown makeup from now on. In one year, all of my peers won't even remember how I looked before I wore clown makeup. Some won't even remember that I didn't always look like a clown. And the fact that the heavy makeup will eventually render my skin leather is just icing on the cake. Anyway, for the sake of comparison, I've attached a picture on the left of how I look like with glasses, and a picture on the right of how I look like without glasses.


2 comments:

Melissa said...

I need a new prescription as well. I sympathize.

The bit on area rugs was a lot of fun, Craig.

jaime said...

I for one can't even look at you right now! Don't even think about coming around until you get your blasted glasses back you big weirdo!