Thursday, August 12, 2010

I Live in Denver Now

Well, I officially live in Denver. I signed a lease. I plugged in my television. I bought a shower curtain. Those are the three domestic things I've done that, I think, qualify me as a resident of Colorado. Thus far most of my meals have been provided by my law orientation, which is good, because all I have is cereal and pb&j sandwich materials. Another fun fact about my situation is that I have no furniture. My condition is as follows:

- I'm sleeping on a camping cot.

- My computer desk = a dinner tray

- My TV stand = another dinner tray

- I'm sitting on an upside-down garbage can right now.

I've been so busy getting to know the city. Here are some of the fun things I've done -

I met the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders:

I enjoyed the outdoors:

I saw the big city:

I hung out at the law school:

Anyway, my apartment is actually pretty nice. It's a studio apartment, but it has a long hallway, and a walk-in closet. Plus, since I don't have any furniture, I have plenty of room. If my family never brings out my furniture, I might move into the walk-in closet and rent out the room and kitchen area.

One last thing. On the way here I saw an ad for a hotel that I thought was kind of fun. I can't remember the city, but for the purposes of this demonstration, we'll call it Stinking Hell Holeburg. In Sticking Hell Holeburg they have a sign that says, "Honey, let's stay at the Econolodge in Stinking Hell Holeburg, because there isn't any other lodging for 102 miles!" I thought this was a pretty honest approach to a business. It's like they got together and said, "Let's face it, this place totally sucks...we have nothing to offer customers except that we exist." I wish they went all the way and finished it off with "...and if we don't find shelter, we could be killed." I would love a restaurant based on this concept: "Honey, let's eat Ox Balls at the Poo Barn Buffet, because there isn't another restaurant for 102 miles! If we don't eat something we will starve and die."

Seriously, last thing: the drive to Denver was actually pretty nice. I rode the I-70 from St. George. Once I got out of the desert I'm pretty sure I just drove through Park City about 5 times and I was here. Then I had the ordeal of driving around the boonies of Denver for an hour and a half, thanks to Mapquest. But that is another story. Maybe I'll tell you about it one day!


Nicole said...

I'm pretty sure Sticking Hell Holeburg is in Idaho. You must have taken quite the detour to get to Denver. Sure do miss you Craigers!!

The Dutsons said...

Craig, you're a gem. Keep being you and good luck in Denver!

jaime said...

It looks as though we need to send you some new clothes because you're wearing the same outfit in every picture! Oh craiggers! How do you expect to impress the ladies in a sombrero?? Speaking of the ladies, did you get a girlfriend right away like I told you to do??

Bridger W. said...

Another winning batch of doctored photos.

Andrea Jolene said...

Put me down for some Ox Balls! I'm so glad you made it. Though also NOT glad you are gone. So so conflicted.

Victoria Reoch said...

Craig, I decided you should perform stand-up at the Stinking Hell Holesburg Econolodge. You would bring the house down!