Thursday, January 13, 2011

Back to School and Resolutions

Today was my second day back at school, and each class felt like it was 127 hours long, minus the one where we discussed cannibalism exclusively. Sometimes I think people take for granted the opportunity to sever a limb to escape a boring place, namely Foxes. Foxes have no appreciation for their ability to gnaw off their own paws, which routinely rescues them from sitting around totally bored somewhere.

If I thought I could have been excused early, there was a one hour-stretch today where I might have gnawed off every single one of my limbs. It wasn't a class, it was a meeting with free, crappy pizza. I sat all the way through it, but I would have sooner gnawed off all my appendages and rolled into the hallway. But knowing this guy, he probably still would have left me in my seat, bleeding from my gnaw wounds while he talked at me...very...very...slowly...and then paused...and then paused more...and then took a sip of water...and then talked at me...very...very...slowly. Ultimately I didn't take this course of action, and I still have all my limbs today.

Anyway, I am now back in school, which means I'm going to have to re-teach myself how I'm supposed to go about my life when I'm not sleeping in until 10:30 am to 2:30 pm every day. I had a really excellent break, and I spent a good deal of it lying on the Queen Bed in my parent's guest room. A bed fit for a queen.

Meanwhile, I set some New Year's Resolutions for myself. Only one of these were actually premeditated before New Year's Eve, but I've still constructed a short list. Here you are:

1. Go to More Shows (Music) - One of the things people would tell me when I moved to Denver is that it has an excellent music scene. It's true, it does, and I have wasted it for months. This year I'm going to make a noble effort to see more shows, and to be more informed on who exactly is coming through Denver. And I'm going to do all these things without so much as a pair of really tight pants.

2. French Kiss Tunz - I'm going to French Kiss like wild. Not that this has ever been a problem in my life, but if you're a girl, I'm probably going to French Kiss you right on the face all the time. I like your chances.

3. Be an Astronaut - Since I'm bound to fail on at least one New Year's Resolution, I've resolved to be an Astronaut this year. Basically, I'm going to spend some time travelling in space with NASA. There is a huge demand for Astronauts these days, and NASA needs my skills in outer space--skills like navigating an inflatable obstacle course.

4. Update This Blog - I want everyone to know I resolved to post on this blog once a week last year. I'm happy to say I fell short of that goal by only two posts. That is absolutely incredible. I'm an absolutely incredible person for getting this close. Just imagine how much more incredible I could be this year. Unfortunately, I'm in law school this year, basically the entire time, so I hope it doesn't affect the blogging too much.

Editor's Note: The picture above about eating more healthy isn't really true. I'm currently planning on eating way more pot pies than I ate in 2010, but we'll see how it pans out for me.


Melissa said...

I love that this post has been given a french kissing tag. I imagine you are accumulating quite a great collection under that tag.

Good work on the blogging, Craig. I know we are all grateful.

Andrea Jolene said...

1. I didn't see you once during your Utah Christmas sabbatical and this concerns me. I'm going to blame each of us 50/50.

2. I'm glad you've still got your limbs. I mean, imagine Law School limbless? Now there's a hell.

jaime said...

When you are an astronaut this year, can I have a ride in your spaceship? I've always wanted to go into orbit and I think through you I can finally achieve that life long goal. Thanks pal!

Hikari said...

So... I just wanted you to know that since I discovered your blog, I check it frequently. I laugh through the entire thing. Patrick knows that if I'm laughing at my computer, I'm reading your blog. Just wanted you to know your humor is appreciated.