Saturday, April 9, 2011

The TV Lady Crush Olympics

This post is mostly about my television lady crushes, but it's also mostly about this song I made recently. It's called Big Ben, and you should listen to it. Then after you listen to it, you should go to my web site on PureVolume to hear some of my other songs that you can download for free. Do it. Then direct your friends to do it. If you don't make me a rock star, then who will?

Craig Blake - Big Ben

Now to the television lady crushes. There are a few gals on TV that have stolen chunks of my pure, golden, bleeding, teenage heart over the years. I've whittled down to three finalists. I have placed these three finalists into rankings. Here they are:

Bronze Medalist: Lana Lang, actressed by Kristin Kreuk (Smallville)

Once upon a time, Lana Lang was a gold medalist. That was before she played mercilessly with Clark Kent's superhuman yet fragile heart. You've got to give Clark Kent a break, Lana Lang. It's hard to have a television crush on Lana Lang, because she plays so hard to get. She is also easily upset. That's why I'm afraid the two of us will never really work out. It hurts so good.

Here is a video montage featuring Lana Lang. I want to point out that this video has been viewed nearly 45,000 times.

Here is what one of the viewers of this video had to say:

"she is amusing,really amusing girl!" - megimeg15

Silver Medalist: Charlotte "Chuck" Charles, actressed by Anna Friel (Pushing Daisies)

She's got spunk, she's got style, she loves Craig Blake. In this show, Chuck struggles with the conflict of falling in love with a pie maker and yet being unable to touch him, because of magic. This is similar to our situation, as we are also unable to have any contact because I'm a man who likes pie, and she is a fictional person. Watching this TV show will make me sigh like I am an 11-year old girl planning her wedding. Then, of course, I go about the other man-stuff I do. Because I'm a man. Chuck is very charming. I'm charmed.

Here is a swell scene where Chuck tries to find a way around the magic no-touching problem:

Here's what what viewer has to say about this video:

"GUYZ FROM A AMERICA, anna friel, english, and was on a UK daytime soap called brookside, she was a lesbian, and buried her father in the backyard, just a heads up since we english people new this incase some of u american did not" - GunnHFran

Gold Medalist: Anna Stern, actressed by Samaire Armstrong (The O.C.)

She's spunky, she's smart, she's a-little-too-hip. In The O.C., Anna Stern was supposed to be a one-episode character. Then the audience reaction was so positive that she became a regular character in Season 1. Then she moves back to Pittsburgh, and she ruins my life. She can give me a French Kiss any time she wants. My only fear is that maybe she'll never give me a French Kiss. This gal is one of the few people who can look great wearing a smock...or matter how ridiculous. I will now post the video of Anna Stern leaving me. If this doesn't break your heart, then your heart is an impenetrable, evil, black pile of slop.

Here is a thought from one viewer of this video:

"who am i gonna play jenga with" GoldenCowboy748


Elizabeth said...

I like this very much!! This makes me want to have a blog only to copy this form!

Nasher said...

Seriously? Anna Stern? You may not be as awesome as I thought you were.

Rebekah said...

That's just hurtful, Nasher. Take it back.

Anna Stern is a lovely girl! My only concern is that she crushes Craig's heart all too often. I've already seen it happen 3 times.

I think it will be my goal in life to find the perfect lds combo of all three of these ladies for you, Craig.

Don't worry - I got your back.